5 minutes in a Mum’s Head: My Version

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Good morning sunshine. Oh it’s seriously really sunny, I mean I really need to get those curtains I’ve had in my Wish List for 3 months now. Hamza’s curtains do the trick, just not sure of the colour. Not sure if that blackout business makes him sleep in at all. I wonder what time it is? Let me check my mobile; oh no it’s in the living room on the charger… yeah the alarm clock is right here. Wait why can’t I see the pointy arrow things? I need my eyes checked, oh no no I remember now, little Hamza took them off. Wow, we need a new alarm clock; digital maybe,  something baby proof.

By the way,  is the baby monitor on; funny I can’t hear Hamza? Is he still sleeping? Why did I wake up then if he’s asleep?! Maybe I can catch some Zzzz… OH DEAR! Did I wake up for Fajr?! Yes, yes that was today, it was still dark even not on the verge of sunrise. MashaAllah, May Allah bless us with praying on time. I wonder how teaching Hamza to pray is gonna be like; it’s nice that I try to set a humble example seeing me pray in the same room, yet somehow he’s linked “Allahu Akbar” with wearing my veil; that’s cute, but it’s a girl thing… but I don’t want him to end up sexist. OH my, am I a good mother?

Speaking of which, I should text mum a nice “good morning”. I appreciate her now on a whole new level, in the motherhood it’s a sisterhood. I really love mum; I love Hamza; does he know I love him? Does he love me? I’ve been so busy lately, am I a good daughter? ! Busy doing what? I’ve two full laundry baskets, do the dishes, hoover the carpets; I need to get organised, not do it all at once, those noodles from last night are all over the high chair, they must be crisp by now… so that’s definitely not going to be noodles for today’s dinner,  chicken? I’m not sure if I feel like it, besides; it’s got to defrost. Mmm, let me think what’s getting close to the best-before; Aubergine!  That’s it, aubergine with…pasta, or with couscous, I love a one pan dish, less mess for tomorrow’s dishes; I HATE doing dishes! If only I could use Hamza to help with the chores. Hehehe

However,  hubby had offered to get me a dishwasher,  I just wanted that charm on my bracelet;  my priorities! I could seriously get back to sleep; I think I still have time. .. imagine when we get school runs InshaAllah; that will be a challenge!  Getting up and ready and getting Hamza ready all before a school bell rings;  I remember my school bell…Brrr! goosebumps.( I can’t believe it’s been 4 years since I graduated!!!) But then I’ll have all day for myself,  naps, chores, maybe even in a not so fictional future work on my thesis.  It’ll be nice and quiet. ..too quiet,  I’m missing Hamza already, they grow up so fast. Bless him honey, May Allah guide him all the way.

I wish I could do more with my time,  for Hamza and for hubby and for me. Who am I supposed to be again? I wish I could go back to grad school for that long awaited PhD. Or finally fully recite the Quran InshaAllah. Big plans and resolutions, but what I’m doing now must be important too, I guess. Nappy changing, toe tickling, potty training, tantrum checking; wow. Some days I just want to wake up to a clean and tidy house, take Hamza and off to the pool. I reeeeally miss being in the water. It won’t be necessarily swimming with Hamza around in his first trunks, but I hope they don’t force me into the kiddie pool. Anyways, upwards and onwards, to my “damage control” chores. Perhaps I could wake up Hamza with a melodious smile. ..wait a minute, I can hear something, it’s turned into a cryyy. Oh well, perhaps his smile will make my day. ElhamdlAllah; can’t count the blessings.

Special credits
Reference to the inspiration; http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/5445948 by Bunmi Laditan

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